Thoughts of quitting

I constantly have thoughts of giving up on my books. At least once a month, since I started, I’ve had intense thoughts of, “this is never going to work out. I’m wasting my time. I should quit and do something else.”

It’s a tough nagging feeling. As much as I sometimes want to quit, I also have so many stories to tell. One thing that keeps me going was at a book reading that only three kids attended, I was once again thinking about quitting, when a mom of one of the kids came up to me and wanted to check out my books to buy one. She took all of them over to a table to read them and see which one she wanted. About 5-10 minutes later she came over fighting back tears and said her daughter read, “How High Can You Jump.” I apologized to her for my illustrations not being very good and she said her daughter had been having a tough time at school and her daughter lit up reading the book and she had to buy it.

As much as I want to make enough money to work on my books full time, that one moment made me realize just how much one book could change someone’s life.

Coming Soon…..

Our book about a Pitbull is coming soon! We’re shooting for an April release.

The book will follow a Pitbull that is left at a rescue. She constantly tries telling everyone she loves them but all they hear is barking. The poor, misunderstood girl is in the rescue as she gets older until……..I can’t tell you. You’ll have to wait and buy the book. It’ll be worth it.

Work on a Patreon

I’m working on a Patreon page. Patreon is a website where you pay a monthly fee to get special behind-the-scenes and early access things along with some schwag. Looking to have tiers of $3, $10, $20, or $30 per month.

Who’s interested? Stay tuned!

Behind The Depression Hole

Just as a warning to parents and kids, this will be a more serious post about me and my struggle with depression.

I just wrote a story about a panda dealing with his depression that feels like a hole he can’t get out of. I wrote the story based off of what I feel with my depression. I don’t have depression daily, but it does happen from time to time and when I do have depression it’s easy to get sucked into that hole. I know people that don’t suffer from depression think it’s as simple as just being sad and you need to “just not be sad.” Try to tell yourself to “just not be hungry” the next time that you’re hungry. It doesn’t work. It’s just what your body does. For me, depression is hating myself and feeling down about myself and my life. This is followed by feelings of “I shouldn’t be sad. I have a roof over my head, food, a job, a car.” These thoughts just make me feel worse about myself and make me hate myself more which just helps me slide further into my depression hole.

I lost a close friend to depression. The loss of Robin Williams hit me harder than I thought it would. I was told by a couple friends that they were surprised that I would be so brave to publicly say that I have depression and that I would open myself up to ridicule. I’m not doing this for people that don’t understand depression. I’m writing this and the story for people that suffer from depression. You’re not alone. Many people suffer from depression, most of them are probably people you would never guess. The thing that helped me the most was opening up about having depression. Yes, some people I thought would support me were the same people telling me to just not be sad. While some people I thought would make fun of me were some of the most supportive people. You’ll never know until you open up, but you have to take the first steps up the ladder to get out of your depression hole. Otherwise, you may never get out, or worse, you’ll fall deeper into the hole. Take the steps up the ladder and if you don’t think you have anyone to open up to, you can reach out to us or any social media groups that deal with depression. If you think you’re too far down your depression hole, don’t be afraid to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800-273-8255). There are people who can help you, just take that first step. You can help others by being around for them.

Depression doesn’t make us alone, it brings us together if we fight it together!

If you’d like to read the short story that goes along with this post, Click Here to read The Depression Hole.

The Depression Hole

The Depression Hole

Written and illustrated by C. Fulsty

Cee, the panda,

is stuck in a hole.

It happened to Cee

as he was taking a stroll.

Cee didn’t mean

to fall right in.

No one plans

on having depression.

The hole is deep,

but Cee is at the top.

With every bad thought,

Cee begins to drop.

The ledges crumble

and Cee falls deeper.

The lower Cee gets,

the hole gets steeper.

Cee doesn’t know

others are stuck too.

They’re in a depression hole,

Cee never knew.

Cee thinks, “My life is good.

I shouldn’t feel sad.”

Cee falls further

because of thoughts that are bad.

Cee doesn’t think

he will ever get out.

“Are you ok?”

Cee hears someone shout.

Cee looks up

to see a ladder drop.

Will he take the help

to get back to the top?

The first step

is always the hardest part.

Opening up

is a good place to start.

“Being judged

won’t bother me.”

“Being happy,

I will fight to be!”

Be sure to check out Behind The Depression Hole to learn about why C. Fulsty wrote this short story. Click Here to read it.

Struggling Today

I’m just at work, doing my every day daily tasks. No one knows, but I’m struggling really bad today. My depression is trying really hard to drag me down and it’s taking a toll on me already. I’m going to finish my day out and go home to just relax. I will make it through my day and I’m going to keep listening to music to help me make it through my work day. If only I could be a full time author instead of doing the daily grind.

Live Book Reading

Tune in today over on Facebook or Instagram at 3pm Mountain (US) to see me read two books live for the kiddos. Old 121 Brewery will be hosting, so we want to make sure people show support for them during these difficult times.

Battling Depression

I try to keep my posts related to kids or kids books. Today is a little more serious of a post but still child-friendly. Whether you know or not, I struggle with depression. I was diagnosed with severe depression several years ago but I do have a handle on it now. That doesn’t mean I’m not depressed, it just means it still happens but I know how to control it more and steer it in the direction I need. I try to be open about depression in the hopes that someone else can find reassurance or just feel like they’re not alone because of my words. I’m not looking for acceptance because there will always be people out there that think depression is just “feeling sad.” Don’t go to those people for help. Find someone who understands or try to find an outlet, like something creative that helps.

I have been struggling with depression the last few days because of some personal things that are going on. Of course Covid doesn’t help, but everyone knows that. My outlet is writing stories. I do have one person that helps, but I also go to my books.

This is very random, but I’m going to stop my post here because I don’t want it to get too long or boring. I do think that this will turn into 1 or 2 short stories. We’ll see. #ComingSoon

3 Books At Once

I have been trying to knock out a number of goals I have for myself. One big one was writing a book for Tony Sly, who was a big inspiration to me and his music for he through a number of tough times. I still listen to his music regularly today especially while I’m brainstorming books. Another goal I’ve had was to release multiple books at once, which is the next one that will happen.

I will be releasing three books, hopefully in the beginning of 2021. One will be about a robot that goes through depression, another will be about a pitbull puppy that is left at a rescue for being misunderstood, and the final one will be about a light bulb in a dark place that is constantly told to put out it’s light, which it finally does. I will be illustrating all three of these and releasing them together. Another book that may join in is a book I will begin writing soon about bees, the difference between bees, wasps, hornets, and bumblebees, and also why we need to keep honey bees around.

There is a lot in the works so stay tuned and hopefully I’ll have more books for everyone to enjoy!! Stay safe and happy holidays!

Postponement of Tony Fly Tames The Sky

We apologize, but Tony Fly Tames The Sky has been postponed due to issues with Amazon Kindle. We will need to spend several hours redoing the interior of the book to make it acceptable for Amazon Kindle. We’ve received conflicting information, but will try to get the book The way it needs to be for publishing.

Thank you for your patience, and once again we apologize to all of the Tony Sly fans out there.

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